Positive Reinforcements
Hello world, long time know see. Did you miss me? Well I sure have missed you guys. It’s been a while since I last wrote to you. My sister had a huge wedding, and I had a bunch of family out here to visit. It was an awesome experience for me, and I’ve been filled up with great memories that’ll last me a lifetime.
I saw family that I hadn’t seen in years, cousins I grew up with as if they were my brothers. I remember playing basket ball with my cousin Bobbie, riding bikes through Puerto Rico with my cousin Tim, wrestling with my little cousin Brian, and I even got to share time with my cousin Eduardo who was too old for me to ever get acquainted with. I’ve got to tell you there is no greater feeling, then the feeling of being with the people you love and hold near to your heart. But they’re recognition of how much I’ve grown and changed over this period of time was an even greater feeling, and was a positive reinforcement that has put the fire back in my soul.
When you think about it why do we try so hard to transform our bodies and our lives? Maybe so we can feel good, look good, be more athletic, more attractive, to have more confidence, or self esteem. But when it all boils down to it we really just want people to notice all these differences when they see us. After all who are we trying to impress with this weight loss? Our own selves’ when we look in the mirror? Well yes of course we want to be proud of ourselves, but what we really want, is to amaze those people who see us outside of the bathroom.
The bottom line is we want people to notice. We want people to ask “How’d you do it?” Let me tell you that is one of the greatest rewards for me. Being able to share my success and achievements with others, especially with the people closest to me; is one of the greatest positive reinforcements that help me to stay on the right track. We should all try and find our own positive reinforcements, I believe that is truly the only way we will be successful. We need something to remind us of why we work so hard day after day, week after week, month after month, and so on.
But after all that was said, I’ve got to be honest with you guys. I didn’t do a great job at demonstrating how I made that transformation. Due to the fact that I cheated on my diet for the two weeks that they were here! I was only supposed to cheat for one week but it’s like I got caught in a web. Next thing you know one week stretched to two. But the good thing is I stopped it there, and did not let it go any further then that.
So my question to you is what is your positive reinforcement? What are you using to keep you eye on the prize? Who do you have to hold you accountable? What are your goals, and how do you remind yourself of them everyday? These are questions that you should have answers for. Thank you for reading, Be Blessed.
What I usually do is when I seem to lose my motivation is to restart everything from scratch again..
Andy,
I like that man, just go back to the basics. Thanks for reading, Be Blessed…
Frank C.
Personally, I always hold myself accountable for all of my actions. I can’t control others reactions and state of mind but I have the ability to control and discipline the course of my actions or else suffer the consequences.
You are 100% right, but having accountability is only on positive reinforcement. In order for us to have real success in the weight loss journey, we must have a list of positive reinforcements. Things that remind us why we’re doing what we’re doing. Thank you for reading, Be Blessed..
My own conscience gets to me if I mess up. When the alarm goes off at 5 I know that I could actually reset it for 6, but if I do that then I won’t have time to work out in the morning, then I’ll be thinking about it all day that I didn’t work out just so I could get an extra hour sleep. I like to get my workouts done in the morning so I don’t have to worry about it interrupting my family time in the evening.
My long term goal, besides getting ripped, is to workout with Tony Horton (Power 90, P90X, etc…). I workout to some of his videos and he seems like a fun guy to workout with.
Thats great man. P90X is no joke!! I love it!! And i would love to meet Tony myself..
My positive reinforcement is based on self expectations. I have goals and expectations like anyone else. These goals or expectations keep me focused, in the sense that if I don’t live up to them, there will be a greater consequence. So, I’ll do my best to keep up, that way I don’t have to suffer whatever the consequence is. Lets take my job for instance. I work to get paid, in order to pay my bills. If I don’t work and get paid, I’ll be in bad shape.
Great, i like the way your thinkin’ 🙂
I did miss you blog. What do I focus on? I keep thinking about how it feels to have a body that feels good, that does not sag on the floor, how I can move so much quicker.
I guess it is more about how I feel than the way I look or weigh.
Thanks for asking.
I agree with you 100%. It’s all about how you feel that counts. One of the things I like to tell my self is, “Eating what I want feels so good, but looking the way I want feels so much better!!” Thanks for reading, Be Blessed
Visualization with emotion is the best method for me to keep my eye on my promise. I use promises rather than goal because a promise registers differently in your subconscious mind – a higher order of magnitude to achieve. A momentary perturbation in my eating habits can be tolerated, but not a consistent reinforcement of my previous habits – in other words – one meal will not make a difference, but several, especially in a row, will allow me to slide backward.
I like that!! A promise is definitely much more personal. Thank you for reading, Be Blessed.
Hey! I was wondering what had happened to you! Well, a lot has gone down here with me since you last blogged on FMU. Since January, I’ve gone from 369 lbs. to 330, thanks to an online program that I was on before and decided to hook up with again. I look and feel so much better already, and I consider the amount of weight I’ve lost to by TINY, compared to what lies ahead. But the rewards that are coming along with? Soooo much the opposite of ‘tiny.’
I agree with you 100% about positive reinforcement. Mine comes mostly from the people I see now just about every day at the gym. Not everybody who goes is serious about making changes and seeing progress, but you do get to know the people who are, even if you only know most of them on a “nod hello” basis. But nothing gives you a bigger boost than when a trainer, a staff member or just somebody who you’ve long considered to be an inspiration, walks up to you and says, “Man! You’re looking GOOD, bro! Keep it up!” Not only does that make my day sometimes, but it also inspires me to “pay it forward” as well. Giving encouragement in kind doesn’t cost you a penny, and you never know how much it might help somebody else out as much as it helps you.
My family isn’t all that big on get-togethers these days, and my mother and sisters live in another state a couple of thousand miles away. But the thought of seeing them again and seeing the changes I’ve been making is another strong motivator, too. Everybody’s seen me both lighter and heavier, but NOBODY has seen me finally at my goal weight. THAT’S a day I am looking forward to, because that will be like graduation, a trip to Disneyworld and winning Powerball all rolled up into one. (At least that’s the way I see it.)
Awesome comment!!! I feel you all the way bro.. Thats what keeps us goin..
One of My positive reinforcement. Self talk. I used to do it as I do it for anybody. If they had hear me, I had to hear to myself. Self talk can bring us to the negative or positive way.
Yea that is very true.. I like to do incantations while I exercise. When your own voice tells your brain something, it’s much greater then any other voice in the world. Thank you for reading, Be Blessed.
Great question! For me it’s my kids. I am a single mother and their father really isn’t in their lives, so it’s important for me to get healthy so I can stay around for a long time to take care of them.
PS I just saw my family for Thanksgiving after a year on my own weight loss journey and it really was great to hear how excited they all were for me! Glad to hear you had such a positive reaction from your family and friends too 🙂
Exactly how I feel for my kids. I am very happy for you, don’t stop keep it up!! Thank you for reading, Be Blessed.
I agree with you, if there is positive reinforcement that makes any impossible thing possible. Your articles helps to encourage people and gives them energy to handle the problems. Be continue….
Thnaks
Stela
Thank you Stela. Be Blessed.
Hi Frank,
Good questions.
I remind myself of my goal by reading it every day.
I was recently watching a video of Tony Robbins talking about the power of belief. Positive re-reinforcements help one communicate their goal with their subconscious mind and believe that they will succeed.
In the Old Testament, God tells His people to write the words from His great book everywhere in their homes,and in the town. Even carrying them where ever they may go. The reason being, is so they’d never forget why they are, who they are, and what they are to become. Thank you for reading, Be Blessed.
Frank, on another note, how can I submit an interesting article to FMU? Who should I contact?
Hello Frank We Miss You And Good Post This is Good and Great Work Friend I Like Your Postings Keep Great Work…
Thank you, it is much appreciated..
Great blog. Inspiring stuff. My fitness goals are simple to stick to. Try to do more “work” in the gym every week (more sets, reps, heavier weight) and fast for 24 hours twice a week. I believe in keeping things simple. Doing the obvious.
Dan
Couldn’t agree with you more. The steps when spoken are very simple, sometimes actually completing them is the hard part for most. However, that fact is as long as we consistently seek improvement, we cannot fail. On the contrary, the moment we loose consistency, we can easily be swayed back to where we came from. This is obvious, lets do the obvious. Thank you for reading, Be Blessed.
As far as who do I go for Positive Reinforcement, I’d have to say my Business Partner. He seems to inspire me more than my family does although I love my family. I always wake up each day with the idea of doing one thing to make myself a better person at the end of the day.
Sometimes our family can mess us up haha. Friends can definitely be our reinforcement. And I like the idea of doing something everyday to improve. Its the little things add up. Thank you for reading, Be Blessed.
My positive reinforcement is being happy with myself. Believing I can achieve my goals and feeling great knowing my husband and kids also love seeing a healthy me!
Thanks Frank!
Your welcome, and thank you!! Be Blessed!!
Fantastic blog…just stumbled upon it! One thing that I’ve learned along my weight-loss adventure to this point: you’ve got to be ever-changing. You’ve got to try new things that you never would have done in the past.
As far as positive reinforcement, I just look at my kids. That’s enough for me right there. Just wish I would’ve done so a decade ago. Sigh.
Yea man I feel ya!! Ever see that movie The Yes Man with Jim Carry?? It’s a crazy story, but its true. We gotta let go of that fear of trying new things, we can’t be scared to step outside the box. Otherwise, we’ll never truly live. Thank you for reading, Be Blessed.
It’s great Frank to see a guy blogging about this stuff as it’s not typical to see men talking about being fitter, slimmer and healthier as openly and honestly as you do.
For me the inspiration to a healthier life is to enjoy the process and not get so hung up on the result. If people enjoy moving more and eating a better diet then they are likely to continue this lifestyle even when the goal ha been reached.
I think losing weight is easy but the challenge comes it keeping it off.
Thanks for the inspiration and great blogs
Pete
Thank you for that, I am not ashamed, I am honest. And you know you are very right. If we’d stop focusing so much on the desired result, just focus more on the actions we must take, do our best to take them everyday, and be happy about it!! That would create long term success. I can lose 3 pounds a week, 10 weeks in a row, and lose 30 pounds. But if I fall, I can get it all right back. We gotta learn to enjoy being healthy. Thank you for reading, Be Blessed.
Thanks Frank!
NO THANK YOU!!! For reading, Be Blessed….
Whenever I think about motivation, dedication, inspiration.. I think of the quote, “Act the way you want to feel.” This has helped me through a lot of tough times and really, truly works. A positive mindset can take you places!
That is so true, I love it.
I keep a diary of my exercises (how many miles I run each day and how long it lasts) and of the weight I lost, so that when I’m not motivated I just look at it and see my progress. Then I just tell myself “you are almost there, you just have to do a little bit more to achieve your goal, you don’t want to fail now and restart everything…”
Its all mental. You can talk yourself into doing anything. You just gotta choose the right things. Thank you for reading, Be Blessed.
Frank C.
I get so disgusted with myself. I am so tired of getting in the habit and setting goals only to find myself quitting due to lack of motivation. I think it starts with a sense of self-worth. I have noticed that I have re-classified myself as less than human so that I can try to be more comfortable with myself as a fat person, by saying “I am what I am; I’ll always be fat”, “my wife likes me big because she calls me her teddy bear” “I’m not that fat”, . That is NOT what I want. I know what I need to do… the trouble is getting started (again). I live in constant guilt everytime I look in the mirror. Where do I begin? I realized that I am dumb when it comes to eating properly and ignorant to learning how to keep the weight off. I have stopped believeing in myself and in other people and, by the way, I dont know if I can take one more person telling my how THEY lossed weight and what THEY did to do it. I simply dont want to hear that sort of advice. It may work for them but not for me. I love to hear about people’s success stories and how they overcame the odds and live this perfect, healthy, new lifstyle. I want that too.
Well Hellooooo Donavan,
What a moving comment that was. I gotta tell you man I feel your pain. I have lived as the fat guy since I was 11 years old. I remember I hated Middle School, because in gym class we had a pool and I hated taking off my shirt. I remembered pretending as if I couldn’t swim and the school allowed me to take private lessons. I hid my fat under big clothes, constantly pulling my shirt off my belly to try and cover my man boobs. I was only a kid at that point.
I stretched out as I grew up, but over the years I kept gaining weight until I stepped on the scale at 300 pounds. I remember starring in the mirror with disgust, I remember even shedding tears, I remember the guilt, I remember feeling like a failure, I remember my wife calling me her stud muffin. I would be like, “Why you gotta say muffin, why can’t it just be stud?!” Our wives don’t realize how much their words mean to us. But I also remember the day I said, “this is NOT what I want.”
I have been living the “Yo-Yo- Life” for over five years, and I have managed to burn over 200lbs of fat off my body. I just keep losing it and putting it back on. But I have made a commitment to myself, my wife, my children, and my God that I would not give up. At the moment I weigh 250 pounds, but I will soon lose the weight for good and I will continue to fight this fight for the rest of my life.
Donavan you have the power to do this, you just need to get on the path and stay on. You say you are dumb when it comes to eating properly and ignorant to learning how to keep the weight off. Everyone is ignorant to everything until they take the time to learn, the knowledge is out there, and you can find it here. You said you stopped believing in yourself. That is your biggest mistake, until you believe in yourself there is no hope for you.
As far as you not wanting to hear how people lost the weight and all, that is understandable. But what you need to understand is that many people do want that kind of advice. How would anyone get anywhere if someone or something didn’t tell them how to get there? Their only choice would be to just figure it out on their own, but then they are surprised when they don’t find what they were looking for and just stop looking.
I want you to know that I believe in you Donavan. I believe in you because I believe that anything in life is possible. I believe there is a pathway to any place we dream of going. I believe that if we find a map, learn the direction, and start moving towards our desired destination we will get there. And that’s why I can say with no doubt that I believe you can make your dreams a reality.
Hope to hear from you again soon, it has been a pleasure. Thank you for reading, Be Blessed.
Frank C.
Thanks for your encouragement. I really appreciate your no B.S. response. As of now I am taking some very small steps toward success. I find it easier to live “just for today” instead of focusing on the long journey ahead which, frustrates me and frankly, scares the crap out of me. Even though my wife’s words unknowingly drag me in the mud, I forgive her and know full well that she has my back. I have vowed to constantly check in with myself mentally and adjust accordingly. This weekend I went clothes shopping. Summer clothing is 60-80 percent off. NOTHING fit me. I ended up going to the thrift shop and finding some clothes that were a size 44. I was appauled and so embarrassed. So I made light of it and asked the lady at the counter if I can bring them back next summer for a refund if they should shrink 3 more sizes over the winter. She found that very humorous but deep down inside I was masking my emabarrasment with humor. It just so happend the price tag was attached to the size tag. Do you ever feel that people seem to treat you differently because you are overweight?
Donovan!!
I am so glad you replied!! How are you?!?! I am glad you could appreciate my no B.S. response, and just so you know, I never B.S. As far as focusing on today, that is a great way to look at it. If we learn to enjoy every moment in life, even the difficult ones, we can overcome any obstacle. I want to let you know, even though my wife still calls me muffin, she is also the biggest support I have. She has been there through it all, and I am forever thankful to God for such a blessing. I know exactly how you feel about clothes shopping, I often dread the thought of it, but as I drop the weight it becomes my reward. Do I feel that people seem to treat me differently because I am overweight? The answer is yes, but I believe it’s my own low self worth that puts those thoughts in my head. I don’t think anyone treats me differently, I think it’s all about how I treat myself. Sometimes our worst enemy can be the voice in our head, but if we change our way of thinking, that voice could also be our best friend. Donovan, do not stop dreaming!! You are more than a conqueror!! You have all you need to be successful, now you just gotta work for it. Hope to hear back from you soon, Be Blessed.
Donavan! I too believe in you! I agree with everything Frank said! I, too, had lost my sense of self-worth. I finally got sick of being almost 500 pounds for 22 years and became determined, no matter how long it took, to lose the weight! I went into 2009 with the motto, 90 in 09….well, I lost 300 in 15 months! You CAN do it cause if I can, anyone can! Good Luck!
Jerome!!
Everyone stand up and give a round of applause for this conqueror!! 300 pounds lost in 15 months is amazing!! You averaged 20 pounds a month!! You are literally a new person!! You are a living example that this is more than possible. All those who want to lose 10-20-30-40-50 or even 100 pounds should be confident that it is achievable. There are way too many people you have done it, it’s all a matter of deciding to make the change. Jerome, I want to thank you for being a warrior, and for putting a “Death to the Yo-Yo-Life.” Thank you for reading, Be Blessed.
Donavan, i was once obese myself, I weighed over 350lbs, and i currently am down to 215 pounds. I still have a ways to go, but I wont quit. You just gotta find the path and start walking man. You can do this man!!! We all believe in you bro!!
Donavan (and everyone else)…I’m trolling the internet looking for some inspiration to get back on track, back into the workouts, and get some weight off. What inspired me? Wanting to inspire Donavan. I find that when I feel good about myself, I am motivated to live a healthy happy life. When I don’t feel good about myself, nothing seems to inspire me. I get so mad at myself because I only get this one life, and I’m not living it to the fullest. Work is so stressful, and I feel buried under it all and can’t seem to get out from under this.
My thought for today: Find joy. All day long today, I am going to look for joy. I’m going to note every moment that I feel joy today.
And, so I challenge everyone else here–with every post, tell us something that brought you joy.
Here’s mine: I just hugged my dog, petted and kissed him and told him how handsome and brave he is. He absolutely melted. That dog is just so damn happy.
Here’s another one: I stretched my back, and it felt good to be alive.
Patty
Patty,
That is awesome, and thank you for sharing!! We all need to search for the joy in our day. Thanks for reading, Be Blessed.
Frank C.
Glad you had a great time at your sister’s wedding. You are so right and I really appreciate this post. Thumbs up.
Mike,
Thank you so much for reading my friend!! Be Blessed!!
Frank C.