The Inspiration List for Men47 lbs LOSTso farJanuary 12, 2008 by Dennis | 14 comments
2008 = No Excuses + Get It Done
Need motivation? Well here goes folks, print this and paste it on your locker, or fridge, or your work space at the office. These are the no mincing words, top ten motivational points for getting shape for the new year.
10. Be the buffest guy in the elevator, any elevator.
9. Be able to outrun a mugger, or chase down a mugger, or beat a cop in a footrace if needed…if you’re the mugger.
8. Get prison strong. If you can do 10 pull ups you can survive on the inside, hit 12 and you’re a big dog, anything over 15 and you are “solitary confinement” dangerous.
7. Be able to impress someone at the beach, the more double takes the better.
6. Arm wrestle everybody in your office and go undefeated, yes you even have to beat big Bertha from accounting, and do not have any mercy on the weaklings.
5. Run somebody over during a touch football game.
4. Sharp will be your middle name, 36 waist, a 34, or dare I say a 32 should be your goals. Take sexy back by getting in shape and enjoy the pleasure of shopping for razor sharp new threads.
3. Look better naked. Period. Removing your clothing in front of the opposite sex should be the moment you gleefully look forward to.
2. Last longer in bed. Better, bigger muscles carry more oxygen. Combine that with increased cardiovascular prowess and you will be a bedroom bully.
1. Bigger penis. Nuff said! Lose weight, increase lean muscle mass and you will shed that male kangaroo pouch that robs you of a visible inch and a half! Hey in the arms race every centimeter counts! She will love to enjoy the more of you, you have to offer. Go ahead don’t be afraid to self mutate into a longer beast.
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Hehe. Really like this list. Fun and good goals for the new year, even if some where a little well… maybe impossible to achieve. All I can is that if you want it hard enough, then you will succeed.
Nothing is impossible. Impossible is nothing. NOTHING!
funny list, I put it up on digg
http://digg.com/health/The_Inspiration_List_for_Men
Thanks Matthew, much appreciated.
Israel, YOU are an frickin’ GENIUS!
hilarious.
I am ROFLMAO. That was hilarious. I am with you on your goals, espeacially the 15 pull ups, 32 inch waist, touch football game and BIG Bertha. I’m printing this out and posting it on my wall for inspiration. Thanks
This is something I have actually achieved once in life. Going for a two-peat. Doc, shot you an email.
Awesome stuff, enjoyed your site.
Thanks, you are welcome any time…
For the 1. I think what you get back in height you lose it in width/diameter.
That shouldn’t change.
#8–what?? if you can only do 15 pushups, you’re gonna die.
the others were good though
What do I have to push up? If it’s something small, like my mug, well then I’m pretty buff already. Especially since I can out run my mug (not my face, but my coffee mug) already.
The thing about prison scares me, so if getting buff means I’ll become a mugger with a mug shot, than I’ll just stay skinny and weak.
Peace,Joey