The Michael Vick Workout
So let’s tackle the burning question every owner and fan has: can Michael Vick perform on the gridiron? Does Mike Vick still have the Michael Jackson moves that made him a moon-walking lethal weapon on Sundays? Or have his football skills eroded? Can he throw the ball nowadays…is he still fast like flash? Well my sources on the inside filled me in on some interesting news: Vick was conducting serious Ninja Training during his incarceration! Here’s what his typical workout looked like and let me warn you rookies it is not for the faint of heart.
120 STRAIGHT DIAMOND HAND POSITION PUSH UPS
33 STATIC PUSH UPS ( HOLD POSITION 3 SECONDS MID REP )
120 TWO INCH CRUNCHES
33 UPSIDE DOWN NINJA VAMPIRE JAIL BAIR SIT UPS, performed upside with ankles hooked on the high portion of the cell bars…Vick comes all the way up to the ankles….painful.
120 BURPEES, yes he does outdo the resident fatman himself.
40 JAIL BED DEAD LIFTS, Vick weighed down the bed with various books such as Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code, The Secret (self help book) by Rhonda Byrne, The Secret, a short story by Arthur C. Clarke, The Secret, a novel, juvenile story by Charlotte Bronte, Clifford the Big Red Dog and a DVD of the movie Marley and Me…hey Mike Vick got a little confused at the Jail house library.
45 MINUTES OF SHADOW BOXING WHILE LISTENING TO RAPPER DMX’s…WHERE MY DOGS AT?
JAIL BAR FOOTBALL THROWING PRECISION DRILL, since the cell was only six feet deep aim was the goal so he threw the football 100 times between a designated pair of cell bars at a specific six inch area. Precision was achieved when the ball wedged perfectly in between the correct bars.
Will this all translate to the field? We’ll soon find out! Roger Goodell and the NFL seem to think so…