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There’s a Hater Amongst Us


There’s someone out there that is a hater. This guy has his own health site and preaches his brand of weight loss methods. That’s cool. I don’t have an issue with that. Sharing knowledge of what has worked for you in the past is part of what this whole weight loss thing is about. But it’s also about the individual trying things and sticking to what works for them. What makes them successful in their journey. Not what you keep telling them to do, but what they can reasonably commit to and stick with.

So my issue with this guy is that he thinks that he knows it all. Heck, maybe he does. At first I thought he was just being over zealous with the sharing of his knowledge. I figured I’d listen to what he had to say since he has been able to successfully maintain his weight loss for several years. But over time I realized that it was just too condescending. It was as if anything besides what he preached was not good enough. It was his way or the highway.

He’d doubt just about everything. I recall when I told him I was able to do a pull up at 284 lbs. He said it couldn’t be done. But guess what… I did it and got it on video. I performed a clean pull up at 284 lbs. Something he couldn’t. See.. the thing is he doesn’t know my body and what I am capable of. All he had to go by was what he was capable of. There was another time where he said it was impossible for me to do a proper burpee… guess what I did those too.

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This guy would even doubt other success stories. There’s a guy that dropped about half his bodyweight in less than a year. All this hater had to say was “I guarantee you he gains it all back in 2 years.” Not a “Congrats, I wish him the best” but a negative remark about how he thought the guy would fail. He was such a downer. The final straw was when we were about to have a contest, which I honestly believe I would have won, and life happened. Things came up in my schedule that prevented things from happening as planned. So he turns around and calls us names and some derogatory remarks. Really uncalled for stuff. At that moment I realized how much I did not want this person in my life anymore.

Now, this person will probably respond on his site. Maybe even leave a comment below. I can care less. I’m venting. lol. The guys is living proof that what he has tried and done had worked. I can’t take that from him. He is helping others with his story and knowledge. But the way in which he tried to “help” me was just not working out. So yes, in my eyes he’s a hater.

Maybe I’m a hater for hating on his approach with me?

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About the Author

My name is Israel Lagares. I used to be the kind of guy that was always in shape, but over the last few years I've fallen off tremendously. This site is my final attempt to get back into shape. So far I've lost 70.4 lbs. Check out my weight loss chart, weight loss videos and progress pics. Follow my journey, those of others, and read our thoughts on various health topics. Share your thoughts, experience, and journey here on FMU.

Community Thoughts (33)

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  1. SeanNo Gravatar says:

    ‘Hater’ is a great definition. I for one try not to be a ‘hater’. I think at times my opinion is overzealous and even can be overbearing.. but in the end it’s all about the person and their lifestyle choices.
    Thanks for the reminder.
    And nobody knows everything *wink*.

  2. Merry MaryNo Gravatar says:

    There are quite a few haters out there. Best to just ignore them.

  3. JakeNo Gravatar says:

    I know exactly what you mean. Those kinds of people do nothing but bring you down. There are definitely better ways to go about helping people. Like you say everyone is a little bit different in that regard.

    PS: congrats on the weight loss so far, keep it up!

  4. ErnestoNo Gravatar says:

    Hey Isreal..what’s up man? You know, I usually don’t comment on blogs too often but I had to stop by and say how much I respect the way you went about writing this post…. with class.

    I think we all know someone in our lives like the person you described above, but kudos to you for recognizing an unhealthy relationship, and having the courage to say enough is enough….no mas!! Take care man.

    - Ernesto

  5. It’s funny how when you read something like this, one wonders if it was “me” you are referring to, however, does not sound like me at all. Plus, we never talked about burpees, so I know I’m off the list of possible candidates lol.

    I do think I know who you’re talking about though.

    Hows life buddy? The wife and I are traveling through the US right now in our motorhome. We just pulled into San Antonio on Monday. Here for a few and then on to Corpus Christi

  6. skinnymanunleashedNo Gravatar says:

    Pay no attention Israel, there are people like that all around. They have to bring others down to feel better about themselves.

    I am happy to see that you are back.

  7. I hear that, there are haters everywhere. I don’t understand why some people have to hate on other peoples success or kick them when they’re down.

    The best thing to do is ignore them or occasionally throw your success in their face if they are really being a pain in the ass.

    I’ve done that with the whole online income thing. One of my co-workers said I would fail at it and makes jokes all the time. He has no clue how much a actually make :) I love that.

    Israel congrats on the 70lbs lost so far, that is a huge accomplishment.

    Steve

  8. AriNo Gravatar says:

    i may b on some old sh*t but how is ur weight loss going? u have given me some hope that my body is going to go back to normal or close to it. please keep me informed.

  9. Hey, by the way, FMU sighting INSIDE the Biosphere 2

  10. PennyNo Gravatar says:

    We would be living in a perfect world if haters were non-existent. But, unfortunately we are faced with them and cross paths with them during our lifetime.

    Best thing to do is just keep doing what your doing because we all are enjoying and benefiting from your website.

  11. He’s probably just a troll, ignore.

  12. JeronNo Gravatar says:

    Great post! I think you went about addressing the issue ver well without being “soft.”

    I have come across this type many times over the years and have always made it a point to try not to emulate it.

    While I will admit that I have been pretty critical of a handful of programs, it was only because they were things that I deemed unhealthy, unrealistic, or just plain unsound. In these instances, I analyze the programs for the sake of helping my clients and readers to make informed decisions.

    But I would never place that opinion over someone’s hard-earned success. I may not agree with everything, but I have been on the weight loss road myself and can understand how difficult it can be, and because of that applaud anyone who has stuck to a program and had success.

    So great job. I’ plan on checking back with your blog in the future!

  13. Frank DobnerNo Gravatar says:

    Hey Israel,

    I am new to your material and just received your e-book. Nice work. I believe that guys that are in the process of losing weight and enjoying are the ones that will be an inspiration to all others. Nice work.

    Haters either 1) see a scary part of themselves in others or 2) trying to make money by putting other people down. Neither work well.

    Frank

  14. theantijaredNo Gravatar says:

    Haters can be good. When I started to blog I thought everyone would just fall in love with me. Not so…

    So many people did not believe I lost as much weight as i did, or worked out as hard. they were waiting for me to fail, give me a tissue and say “I knew it would happen.”

    So listen Iz, get off your wishy-washy ass and start blogging more!!! I mean, one update in forever? I need more of a taste from a FL partner!

  15. Regarding the 284 Ib pull up, I’m assuming you’re talking about a chin up bar?

    How does your weight have anything to do with how much you can lift exactly? Where’s the logic in that? Look at the worlds strongest man competitions…these guys are massive and no doubt weight quite a bit but can lift stupid amounts.

    I’d ignore him and let his own logic defeat him rather than waste your time with him.

  16. BetterBodyNo Gravatar says:

    As i’ve always said… “Hater’s gonna hate!”

  17. nedenleriNo Gravatar says:

    I know what you mean. Sometimes a person can get lost in themselves.

  18. Daniel SmithNo Gravatar says:

    hi, nice article, just want to tell you “Haters keep on hating, cause somebody’s gotta do it.” Dont waste your time on them.

  19. Hello Israel,

    Glad to know you are being able to lose weight, although i do not know you, i’m very happy for you :o )

    I also started a diet in February 2009 and managed to lose 116 pounds (more or less). Unfortunately, ever since i moved to the US last November i started gaining some weight (i’ve gained around 22 pounds – which i intent to lose again heheh)…

    Either way, just wanted to give you my support and confirm your appreciation: there IS always a hater amongst us! ;o)

    I remember hearing the exact same comment when i started my diet: “you wont be able to loose the weight” or “you’ll get it back”.

    It’s true that losing the weight is only half the battle (maintaining the weight loss is also very difficult) but people should be more respectful and supporting…)

    Most people have NO Idea what it is to be obese!

    Hugs,
    Luis Silva

  20. Ryan M HallNo Gravatar says:

    I used to have a lot of friends who were haters when I was way bigger, then I would wow them with some huge lift and they would pay me a little big guy respect, but eventually they would hate again.

    It sucks that this guy is hating on all things not him, it does sound like he’s on a high horse, and not like the man in the old spice commercial either.

    Rob’s absolutely right, I read this, and thought, man…I hope I’m not a hater….but I’m not hating, do what works for you, as long as it does indeed work for you.

    Great thought provoking post Israel.

    Keep em comin!
    Ryan
    PS. I hate it when people say someone will “gain it all back.” Screw that, good for that dude for losing it fast and changing his life.

  21. I think this post can tie in really well with the other about motivating influences… Nothing like telling someone they can’t do something to motivate them.

  22. ThomasNo Gravatar says:

    Hey man, do you notice the beauty in all of this? You put the time and effort into writing and releasing thoughts and feelings about a hater…and look at all of the love that showed up in response. Good for you!

  23. ShawnNo Gravatar says:

    Pssst, email me and let me know who it is. LoL

  24. Israel. What is up! It has been quite a while since I’ve checked into your site. You’ve done a great job here. Nice work dealing cooly with the hater. I always think that is so sad when someone has to hate – especially on a site that had to do with such an important life issue. You dealt with it wonderfully. I do have to point out an article about dealing with haters at Tim Ferriss website. It is a powerful lesson to everyone that blogs; and there are some great principled for dealing with haters in regular life, too. Keep up the great work. Jason

  25. dugNo Gravatar says:

    My weight loss path has involved some pretty radical stuff that gets me mostly hate. You said it best though, “everyone has something that works for them.”

    I started at 261 July 2008 and am at 212 this morning.

    In 10 days I will be under 199 and am going to stay there.

    Diet and exercise are super important to being healthy. Thanks for being an inspiration.

  26. MaxNo Gravatar says:

    I myself don’t like to be a hater. It doesn’t bring any good result to anyone.

  27. PaulNo Gravatar says:

    Sounds more like a “dumbass” than a hater to me. Big guys often have proportionately more muscle along with the fat, and can be outrageously strong. Plus, being overweight does not exclude you from having a beneficial ratio of fast twitch / slow twitch muscle fibers. Some folks are just naturally stronger than others.

    So yeah… insisting you can’t do a pull up at 284 lbs. is just plain dumb.

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