Why I Hate Fat People or the Discipline Switch
If I see an obese person outside I look at them in disgust. I hate it when I see them eating at buffets, pigging out, and at fast food restaurants. I especially hate it when I’m at Wal-Mart and I see some fat lady riding around in one of those automatic wheeler cart thingies. JUST GET UP AND WALK! I know, I know. This seems insensitive. I’m fat so I know what it feels like to be in public and be stared at. Or not even being stared at but feeling like everyone is looking at you because deep inside you hate the fact that you are fat and can’t or haven’t been able to control yourself.
But while I have been fat, I have been disciplined as well. I know I can attain my goals if I stick to the plan. So I use that as a way to separate myself from other fat people, in my mind at least. In my head, I am not the same as them. I am different. Better. But that’s where it gets kind of crazy because I AM fat. I have used the same excuses they have. Done a lot of the same things they have. Eaten a lot like they have. Worn over sized clothes like they have. You get the point.
I’m fat, have been for most of my life. I have been known as the fat kid since child hood. There was a time when I was big, but in really good shape. I recall being 265 lbs. and able to out last smaller guys during training, running, and workouts. Then there was a time when I was slender, toned and in really good shape but I still weighed in at 225 lbs or so. That’s actually the lowest I want to get to. Then the lack of discipline would kick in and I would balloon up. Then I’d workout and lose it. My weight has fluctuated between the 230s and the 260s for many years.
That was until a few years ago when I completely stopped exercising. I started working from home and ate. I ate a lot of crap. Junk food-wise you name it and I ate it. And I loved eating, still do to this day. I love how certain foods hit my taste buds and satisfy my cravings.
A lack of discipline is the main factor for me getting to the obese incarnation of myself these days. I have always been accustomed to being disciplined, something I picked up in high school thanks to football. But for some reason the Discipline Switch (I just coined this term) was turned off for a long time and still gets flicked down every now and then. It’s one of the main things that I have had to battle with during my weight loss journey. It was so easy back in the day to workout and know that I HAD to. Whether it was for football or the military I knew that if I didn’t do my best to get into shape that there would be consequences. For some reason it has been harder to translate that into my life as an adult. Maybe it’s the added pressure of life? Having a family? Work? I dunno!
When I say I that I hate fat people I mean that in the least prejudice way possible. It’s not like I want to round up all the obese people of the world and get rid of them. I guess it’s that they are a visual representation of the lack of discipline that I have been battling. In essence I hate myself because I am a fat person. Albeit a damn good looking one! Yeah, that’s it. Folks, you are witnessing a major moment in my life, as it happens! I just realized that I can’t stand the fact that I am fat because it boils down to me not being disciplined enough to do what needs to be done.
Okay, so where do I go from here with this knew revelation? Hmmm, I dunno. Maybe I should go workout so that I can continue to instill discipline. Yeah, that sounds good. As soon as I am done writing this I will go lift, then I’ll hop on my recumbent bike for a low impact cardio session. Followed by some steak, veggies, protein, and chocolate milk. Oh, and I will try to fit a shower in there too.